-Amsterdam, motherfucker. -Okay.
Come on, Iet's go. Where are we going?
Red-Iight district. Time for sneepur.
Let's go to the coffee shop first, then get some sneepur.
Hey, I think the Anne Frank house is around here.
Did we come to Europe just to smoke pot?
I came aII the way from IceIand.
-Yeah, what if we did? -We did that every day in coIIege.
Why not, Iike, you know, check out a museum?
No, you're right. We shouId go to a museum.
How about the hemp museum?
OIi proudIy presents...
...IsabeIIa.
She's cute.
But we can't raiI a girI who's in a coma.
I think that's iIIegaI even in Amsterdam.
-Hey, I'm just warming up, man. -Fucking OIi.
The IceIandic-- Oh, God, how are you?
You want to get stoned?
-This wiII wake you up. -What the fuck?
This is good Amsterdam shit.
That's the shit right there, dude.
Trust me.
Yeah.
-It's aII good, bro. -Yeah, dude, smoke it!
-Dude, what happened? -Any Dutch peopIe in Amsterdam?
AII right, this is my friend, Josh.
-WeII, heIIo. -Hi.
-Do you guys want another round? -Yes, okay.
Yeah?
We wiII be right back.
-What are you doing? -What?
Do you see a singIe other person in here with a fucking fanny pack?
Wait. There's a guy.
Why don't you go have fanny-pack sex with him...
...and jizz aII over each other's storage compartments?
I can't put my passport in my pocket. It chafes my thighs, bitch.
-AII right? -Yeah.
Where's OIi?
He's fucking genius.
Sneepur aIert, 3 o'cIock.
-She smokes. -Dude, it's Europe!
Every fucking chick smokes. Stop being a pussy.
You are so easy sometimes.
The power of the pack is yours. I'm out of here.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I-- No, I don't even speak Dutch.
No, I'm sorry, I--
Get off me, you fucking faggot-ass eIf. Fuck off.
-Hey, what the fuck? -Hey. Hey.
Come on, faggot.
-Fucker! -Get your fucking hands off me.
-I'm an American, I got rights. -Get the fuck out.
-Your fucking cIub sucks ass, bro. -Kiss my American ass, fucker.
-Fuck you. -Let's get out of here, bro.
Hey, I don't know why you guys are waiting.
It's a fucking fag fest in there. WaII-to-waII fucking cock.
You need one of these to get in, bro. Sorry.
That shit was cIassic, dude.
He was gonna throw down with a 400-pound Dutchman.
I'm fucking awesome!
I don't fucking know what--
I thought you were a Jew, man. This guy's a fucking IsraeIi!
You are fucking IsraeIi.
Oh, God, I hope bestiaIity is IegaI in Amsterdam...
...because that girI's a fucking hog. Look at that, man.
Hey, guys, I think she Iikes me, man.
Oh, Iook at that. Josh, my gift to you, man.
Thanks, but paying to do whatever you want to someone isn't a turn-on.
How are you gonna get over your chick if you don't bang some new pussy?
You can't go home without getting some hot chick.
I agree, but I shouIdn't have to pay for it.
Hey, come on, I'm paying, man.
Hey.
Are you okay?
HeIIo? HeIIo?
Hey, cIose the door. You watch, you pay.
Sorry. Jesus.
You're up, sIugger.
Man, I'm fucking-- I'm tired, man. I can, Iike, bareIy stand up.
Josh, you want to be a fucking writer?
How about some Iife experience, right there in that room.
-What do we have in here? -Hey, you watch, you pay.
I pay. I pay, man. Come on.
Hey.
Come, sit.
Your friends are so funny.
Yeah.
You can wash over here, by sink.
It was fine.
What do you mean? That bitch had the best fucking tits in Amsterdam.
It was fine. It was whatever.
What was that?
-It's fucking after curfew, man. -Curfew? What are we, 1 3?
Let us the fuck in, we're freezing our baIIs off.
We paid to stay here. They can't just, Iike, Iock us out.
This is buIIshit.
HeIIo?
Open the fucking door.
-What did you teII him? -He just toId them to Iet us in.
-Shut up! -Jesus.
Shut the fuck up, you fucking Americans.
Hey, I know what to do.
Shut up.
Hey, hey, guys. Up here. CIimb quickIy.
Come on.
Go. Go, go, go.
Oh, don't mind them.
They are so fucked up they don't know what pIanet they are on.
-Thanks, bro. -It's no probIem.
Not everyone want to kiII Americans.
Paxton.
AIexei. But caII me AIex.
What's up, AIex. This is Josh and OIi.
Guys, this is fucking awesome, man.
I'm the first in Iine for sneepur.
Oh, that's IceIandic for ''cIit.''
CIitoris or cIitoris, however you wanna say that.
Women have it.
It's, Iike, right near the Iabia. Like, it hangs.
Oh, yeah. Very good sneepur in IceIand.
-Yeah. -Come on, guys, have a seat.
Where you traveI to?
We started in Paris, which is where we met this drifter.
Anyway, we went aII over France...
...and then SwitzerIand, BeIgium, and now we're in Amsterdam.
Yeah, kind of over Amsterdam. Way too many Americans.
Yeah, but OIi's got a friend with a fIat in BarceIona...
...and he's supposed to hook us up with some hot-ass senoritas.
Looking for girIs?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
So taIk to AIex.
He open up the pussy aII over the Europe.
I can heIp you.
Oh, shit. AIex is a pimp, apparentIy.
Thanks, bro, but I think we'II be okay.
-Yeah. -Good.
You Iooking for girIs Iike this?
These are fucking magnificent.
-Who the heII are these girIs? -You have to go east, my friend.
This is where the best girIs are.
The best.
How far east?
You can go as far as Ukraine, around Odessa.
These girIs I met at this one hosteI in SIovakia...
...just outside BratisIava.
The girIs there are so hot you cannot beIieve it.
And they Iove anyone foreign, especiaIIy American.
They hear your accent, they fuck you.
So wait, this pIace is near BratisIava?
Josh.
You won't find this hosteI in any guidebook.
BarceIona, so many Americans.
But SIovakia? No one there.
There is so much pussy, and because of the war, there are no guys.
You go to this hosteI, you wiII have any girI you want.
They go crazy for any foreigner.
You just...
...take them.
Fuck, man.
Can't you keep your Viking ass in your pants for, Iike, two seconds?
Hey, man, I shaved my ass just for you.
-Okay, aII right. -My Viking baIIs too.
Okay, stop.
I'm sorry.
My daughter.
She miss her daddy, and Daddy miss her.
Yeah, no probIem, dude, it's cooI.
-Saskia. -Cute.
-She's adorabIe. -She's a IittIe cutie, yeah.
This is SvanhiIdur, my daughter.
-Very pretty. -She's 6.
She's starting schooI this year.
Wait, you have a daughter?
Yeah, of course, my horse. I was married for eight years.
Okay. AII right.
-You are on vacation? -Yeah, we're backpacking.
Our next stop is BratisIava.
-What? -SIovakia.
You wiII Iike it.
Casino, girIs.
You can pay to do anything.
Anything.
-How are the girIs? -Very beautifuI.
They wiII Iove you. Handsome American Iike you.
Handsome deviI. He is handsome.
That's-- That's awkward. That's awkward.
That's awkward too.
-You need a fork there, chief? -No, no, no.
I prefer to use my hands.
I beIieve...
...peopIe have Iost their reIationship with food.
They do not think:
''This is something who gave its Iife so I wouId not go hungry.''
I Iike to have a connection with something that died for me.
I appreciate it more.
WeII, I'm vegetarian.
And I am a meat-eater.
It's human nature.
WeII, I'm human, and it's not in my nature.
TeII me, what is your nature?
Don't touch! Don't fucking touch me!
I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Fucking freak.
Jesus.
Edward SaIadhands just groped Josh.
Dude, you finaIIy hooked up. That's awesome.
Yeah, that's fucking hiIarious.
Or we couId visit some factories.
ShouId be cooI.
In this area...
...we make pIastic for SIovakia.
Is that so?
Look at this.
-Nice, eh? -This is a fucking hosteI?
HoIy shit.
You can have that, man. I'm too scared.
Hey, hey. The party has arrived.
-You are saved from boredom. -Let me guess.
You must be the King of the Swing.
You made a reservation under ''King of the Swing?''
-Yeah, of course, my horse. -I'm sorry.
-He doesn't get out of his cage much. -I can see that.
Here are your keys.
You Ieave your passports at the desk.
That was taken when I was Iike 1 3. I was kind of husky.
Not anymore, though, you know?
Do you have any private rooms? We're probabIy gonna need them.
The rooms are semiprivate, so you wiII have roommates.
Roommates, huh? That's gay.
Sorry.
-Oh, my God. -It's okay.
The room is yours. We are going to the spa.
You shouId come.
Spa.
Jugs.
-Hey. -HeIIo.
Oh, Jesus.
-Hi. Hey. -Hi.
How you doing?
I'm so happy I shaved my baIIs.
What? I have the smoothest baIIs in IceIand.
-You wanna see? -No, no, no, you're not-- I'm good.
Put your anteater away, it's totaIIy creepy.
-You're not from IceIand, no? -No. Fuck, no. American.
Yeah, unIike him, I had my foreskin removed at birth.
Hygiene and-- Am I taIking?
-I'm Josh. -NataIya.
-And this is SvetIana. -Hi.
Hi, I'm Paxton.
-And this is OIi. -The King of the Swing.
HeIIo.
Face on the ass. Never gets oId.
Jesus.
So where are you girIs from?
I'm from ItaIy, but my parents are Russian.
Prague.
Prague's cooI. Kafka.
So, NataIya....
-Yeah? -You're Russian, eh?
Oh, my God. Look, there are too many girIs.
-This is awesome. -Yes.
I mean, I was a senior, you know, she was a junior...
...and then I graduated, and it was weird, you know.
I mean, I'm totaIIy over it. It's-- You know, it's cooI.
It's okay.
Look, VaIa is here.
-Who? -VaIa, from front desk. VaIa.
-AII right, OIi. -Hey, I toId you, man.
I'm the King of the Swing.
Come, Iet's dance.
-Does the cigarette bother you? -No, it's--
I put away.
It's fine, I....
I'm gonna go get some fresh air.
But I'II be back, okay?
Cigarette.
Aren't you a IittIe young?
-DoIIar. -What?
DoIIar.
-DoIIar. -Here you go.
Here, chiIdren commit the most crime.
They don't care. They wiII attack anyone.
-You're okay? -Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
Hey, Iet me buy you a drink.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Hey, Josh.
Faggot.
Go with your friends. It's okay.
I wanted to say sorry about earIier.
About the way I reacted.
We cooI?
I wouId have done the same thing at your age.
It's not easy...
...but from my experience...
...choosing to have a famiIy was the right choice for me.
Now I have my IittIe girI...
...who means more to me than anything in the worId.
But you shouId do...
...whatever's right for you.
Excuse me, it's my turn now.
ShouId we be doing this with them there?
Yeah, it's okay.
-Yeah, baby. Josh, give it to me, baby. -Okay, aII right. Okay, stop!
-AII right. -Come on, big boy.
-We go to spa. -Spa.
Spa, spa, spa. Being dirty whiIe getting cIean.
Bye.
Mission accompIished.
You know that Amsterdam kid with the thing on his Iip?
I'm gonna send him a reaIIy nice thank-you note.
Be quiet.
They're showering together.
Shit, man. We're never Ieaving here.
I guess OIi's not back yet.
No, dude, he probabIy took that desk girI home.
We'II see him at breakfast.
-What's the name? -OIi Ericson, 23 7.
How are we supposed to understand this without subtitIes?
Fucking gay.
Yeah, he checked out this morning.
You mean he took his passport to go out?
No, it say he checked out this morning.
-When this morning? -I don't know exact time.
I couId find out tomorrow.
Hey, OIi, it's Pax. Are you stiII with that chick?
Can I Ieave a note in case he comes back?
Okay, cooI. Yeah.
AII right.
He's probabIy stiII with VaIa. When she caII me, I caII you, okay?
Okay.
-We see you Iater, right? -Yeah.
Okay.
-Bye-bye. -Bye.
OIi, hey, it's me again. We're gonna go into town, so caII us.
You're gay. Damn voice maiI again.
-Hi! Hi! Hi! -Hi.
Your friend.
-What the heII? -Your friend, my friend.
What does that say?
Sayonara. Your friend.
What, they Ieft? Like, together?
That doesn't make any sense. OIi doesn't even Iike Asian girIs.
I mean, no offense, but--
When did she send this to you?
This picture. Today?
CouId you do me a favor and send this picture to my phone?
This picture.
That water Iooks fucking coId.
You know, if you feII in, you'd die in 90 seconds.
Dude, did I teII you I saw a girI drown when I was 8?
-Where? -Lake Michigan.
It was fucked up, man. This IittIe girI, probabIy 4 or 5.
We made eye contact, which was a weird thing, you know...
...and she was yeIIing for me to heIp her.
Yeah? What did you do?
I ran to the Iifeguard, who was busy taIking to her boyfriend at the time...
...and I yeIIed, you know, ''There's this girI drowning.''
And she couIdn't see her. ProbabIy thought I was making it up.
And then a second Iater aII you couId hear was this horribIe screaming.
It was that IittIe girI's mother, dude.
Her kid was dead.
-Jesus. -I had nightmares for years after that.
I mean, I'd wake up every fucking night hearing that mother scream.
I just....
I just feIt Iike I couId have done more.
You did the right thing. CouId've been a doubIe drowning.
Yeah, weII, I didn't see it that way at the time.
AII I knew was this IittIe girI was dead and her mother's Iife was ruined.
What makes you think of this now?
BubbIe gum.
-Sorry, kid. -No, no. Give him some.
What are you doing?
These fucking kids are dangerous.
Hey, OIi.
-Hey, OIi. -Hey.
-Hey.
-Hey, OIi. Hey! -OIi!
It's your Iucky day, Josh.
A museum.
How's it hanging?
-What the fuck? -HoIy shit.
-He got you. -Yeah, that's hiIarious.
Okay.
Hey, OIi.
Hey, hey.
Excuse me?
I'm sorry, I thought you were someone eIse.
WeII, I'm not.
Where did you get that jacket?
-Hey, I'm taIking to you, man. -Get your fucking hands off me.
This is my jacket.
It's from OIi.
''I go home''?
I don't know, maybe his battery died.
Hey, Kana, when are you Ieaving?
I'm sorry. When are you going away?
Tomorrow, I go.
Okay, because we may go too.
Do you wanna go to the train with us? To the train station?
Tomorrow, train?
Yeah, yeah.
-HeIIo, Josh. -Hey.
-Come, we go for disco?
ActuaIIy, I just wanna find my friend and get the fuck out of here.
Okay, we'II see you.
Hey, guys, hoId up a sec. We'II be right out.
Okay.
-Josh, come here, dude. -Yeah, what?
It's not their fauIt OIi disappeared, so stop acting Iike it is.
-I'm annoyed he'd ditch us. -I'm pissed too.
But we're not in America.
I mean, peopIe meet each other and spIit without saying shit.
It's just how they do it over here.
As weII as we may think we know OIi, we don't reaIIy know him.
He couId've gone somewhere with that girI.
Fuck, maybe he's in IceIand. The guy's got a daughter.
So Iet's Iook at our options.
We can A, fuck these girIs one more night and then head to BarceIona...
...or B, not fuck them, then head to BarceIona anyway.
Think about it. When I'm studying for the bar and you're writing your thesis...
...this is the shit we're gonna think about.
Okay. AII right, he doesn't show up, it's his probIem.
-It's his probIem. -AII right.
AII right.
Hey, Kana, you wanna go to the disco with us?
You know, disco? Dancing?
No?
Josh?
-I'm gonna go back. -Are you okay?
I'm, Iike-- I'm tired.
ActuaIIy, I have, Iike, a headache.
If you want, I wiII go with you.
No, no, no, I'II just see you back at the room.
Goodbye.
Fucking pussy.
-Josh. -VaIa.
You don't Iook weII.
-No, I-- -Here, Iet me heIp you.
I feeI sick.
Where is...? Where is OIi?
You need rest.
Where's the restroom?
Past the bar, in the back.
You guys cooI?
-Vodka Red BuII. -Vodka Red BuII, danke.
Yeah.
Hey!
Open the door.
Oh, fuck.
What the f--?
Oh, fuck.
What...? Who are you?
What the f--? Where the fuck am I?
What the fuck is this shit?
PIease, pIease-- Fuck. PIease, pIease, pIease--
I didn't fucking do shit to you, what the fuck!
PIease, pIease, what the--?
PIease, no, sir. PIease fucking stop. PIease!
What the fuck?
PIease, I didn't fucking do anything.
What the fuck?
This is such fucking buIIshit.
What the fuck is this?
What? No! No, pIease don't--!
What the--? No, no, fucking don't you-- No, no!
Oh, my God, no, no! Oh, my fucking God!
Oh, my God! No, no, no, no!
Oh, pIease. What the fuck?
No, no, no, no, fuck! No!
Fuck! Oh, fuck!
You.
Why?
I aIways wanted to be a surgeon...
...but the boards wouIdn't pass me.
Can you guess why?
You see?
So I went into business...
...but business is so boring.
You buy things, you seII them. You make money, you spend money.
What kind of Iife is that?
A surgeon...
...he hoIds the very essence of Iife in his hands.
Your Iife.
He touches it.
He has a reIationship with it.
He's part of it.
PIease, pIease. Just Iet me go, pIease.
You want to go?
Is that what you want?
Oh, my God!
Fuck! Oh, fuck!
You are free to go.
Oh, fuck. No!
No. No, fuck. No, fuck--
PIease, I have money. I'II fucking pay you.
Ten times, two times, whatever you want--
-Pay me? -Yes.
No one is paying me.
In fact, I am the one paying them.
ReIax. ReIax, bro.
Oh, shit.
-Two thirty-seven, pIease. -Two three seven.
Didn't you check out?
No, not yet.
Not yet.
-This your bag? -Yeah.
The maid brought it here. You're checked out.
-I didn't check out. -It says.
It happened this morning.
This is buIIshit. Did somebody Ieave a note?
Because I didn't fucking check out, dude.
No, man, just this bag. If it's a mistake--
Yeah, it's definiteIy a mistake. We need a fucking room.
ChiII out, man. You're on vacation.
Two three seven.
Hey, was there a Japanese girI waiting in the Iobby for somebody?
No, think they Ieft this morning.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, dude.
Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
It's okay. We are going to the spa.
You wiII join us?
You shouId come.
Hey, Josh, caII me soon as you get this, man.
I got Iocked in that cIub. It was retarded, dude.
I'm at the hosteI.
SvetIana!
Hey!
You IittIe fucker.
Jesus.
Wait at hosteI for your friends.
They wiII Iook for you there no matter what.
Yeah, I know. But, see, my friend Josh is the kind of guy who--
He just wouIdn't check out without so much as Ieaving a note, you know.
He's the responsibIe one.
Yeah, but maybe he worried his beIongings get stoIen...
...so he take them when he go out.
Someone mispIace if he Ieaves note.
It is not uncommon.
Yeah, weII, is there anything eIse that I can do?
There's nothing right now.
We have his picture...
...if we see him, or he is picked up, or something happen...
...we contact you at hosteI, yeah?
Okay.
Where are you from?
CaIifornia.
You are so far from home.
Paxton. Come, have a drink.
HeIIo, Mr. American.
-Did you get my messages? -Which one?
There are so many.
I caII you back, but chiId answer.
Yeah, I know.
Have you seen Josh?
In EngIish, pIease.
He is with your friend...
...the King of the Swing.
-He's with OIi. -Why you Ieave Iast night?
Did you not Iisten to my messages? I got Iocked in a storage room.
I don't know, I got sick and passed out.
-What? -She said you met another girI.
Where are my friends?
The art show.
-You mean Iike a museum? -No, no, no.
Not museum. They went-- How you say, for artist?
-Exhibit. -Exhibit for artist.
No, that doesn't make any sense.
Why? What is wrong?
WeII, they didn't Ieave a note. They didn't caII or do anything.
They teII us to teII you.
Yeah, but I tried caIIing them aII day.
Yes, but their phone, the battery die and they do not have--
How you say, for eIectricity?
Converter. Okay, whatever, where is this art show...
...because I wanna go.
-Have a drink. -I don't want a drink.
AII right? I wanna see some art.
Okay? So can we go?
You're not going?
I've seen this show.
You want gum?
No.
Too bad for you.
We are here.
Are you coming or what?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
How is it in there?
Be carefuI.
Why is that?
You couId spend aII your money...
...in there.
How much is it?
For you, free.
There.
That's the show?
Yes.
-What? -Nothing.
You're so serious, Mr. Serious American.
You fucking whore.
You fucking bitch.
You fucking bitch!
I get a Iot of money for you...
...and that make you my bitch.
Fuck. Get the fuck off me!
This is fucked!
Get the fuck off me!
Fuck.
TaIk.
TaIk. Speak.
What the fuck do you want me to say?
American.
No. No, wait!
I'm not fucking American!
I'm not fucking-- Look at me. I'm not fucking American.
American.
PIease, what the fuck is this?
Let me go. PIease.
I promise I won't teII anybody.
Just pIease Iet me go.
Don't. Don't.
PIease don't.
Don't, pIease.
God.
Oh, pIease, stop!
PIease stop it. PIease stop it.
I know you don't wanna do this.
PIease don't do this.
Fuck.
Oh, shit.
What the fuck?
What do you think?
How do I Iook?
I feeI Iike a butcher or a surgeon or some shit, know what I mean?
I feeI fucking ridicuIous in this thing, but I guess you need it, huh?
Yeah. I'II teII you something....
-Excuse me. Excuse me. -Wait a sec.
How was it?
Good.
WeII, goddamn, motherfucker, for this money, it better be. Shit.
What did you go for, a IocaI?
What, European?
-American. -An Amer--?
Ain't that a bitch. Big spender. I fucking-- I Iove it.
I just fucking Iove that shit. You know what they got for me?
They toId me they Iined up something speciaI.
I've been waiting aImost a week for this shit.
For 50 grand, she better be worth it.
But it's supposed to be a reaI rush, right?
It's Iike-- They toId me it's Iike a reaI fucking rush, right?
Come here.
I've been aII over the worId. You know, I've been everywhere.
And the bottom Iine is, pussy's pussy.
You know, every strip cIub, every whorehouse, every....
It's aII the same shit.
I just fucked a girI two days ago, I don't even remember the coIor of her tits.
But this, this is something you never forget, right?
Right?
-Never. -Never, right.
Let me show you something. Pretty sweet. Check this out.
What do you think of this? Come on, Iet me see yours.
We're aII in the same cIub.
I'II be out in a second, guy.
Can I ask you something personaI? Do you mind?
How'd you do it?
Did you do it reaI sIow...
...or did you just get it over with right away?
That's why I asked for the fucking gun.
Because I just wanted to fucking do it quick.
I just wanted to get it over with.
But now I'm thinking maybe I wanna feeI it, you know?
I wanna fucking feeI that shit.
So I don't know what to-- I'm thinking-- What do you think I shouId do?
-Make it quick. -Make it quick.
Yes.
Yeah, that's-- No, fuck that shit.
Fuck this, too fucking American, dude. I'm going fucking oId schooI.
Who wants this, motherfucker?
Who wants this shit? Come on, motherfucker.
Bring it.
Hey, buddy.
Get your own fucking room. I paid for this.
What are you, fucking deaf?
Kana.
-Oh, my God. -What do you want me to do, Kana?
What? I don't understand what you're saying. What?
Fuck. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. HoId stiII. HoId stiII.
-Fuck. Oh, God. God. -No. No!
-Shit. -No!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Fuck!
We're gonna get the fuck out of here, Kana.
Move this fucking truck!
Fuck.
We're aImost there.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Fuck.
Kana.
Come here.
No. No, Kana. Kana.
No, Kana.
No, thank you. I prefer to use my hands.
I beIieve peopIe have Iost their reIationship with food.
They do not think:
''This is something who gave its Iife so I wouId not go hungry.''
I Iike to have a connection with something that died for me.
Oh, Jesus.
Goddamn!
Fucker.
No, pIease!
I get a Iot of money for you...
...and that make you my bitch.
A Subrip by Nexus23.net